The Gilmore Book Club

IF YOU WANT TO BE AN ARTIST, YOU NEED TO READ THIS

LITTLE WOMEN- LOUISA MAY ALCOTT

When was the last time you lost your voice? I was recently at a three- day expo, showing off all the newest lingerie collections, as my day-job often entails, and I completely lost my voice. Several of my coworkers had been sick, and I was strict about taking care of myself: getting enough sleep, drinking a ton of Emergen-C, washing my hands like crazy. None of that worked. Friday morning, I woke up and felt the pressure building in my nasal cavities. It was official; I was sick.  And it just so happened to be one of the biggest work weeks of my year, a week where I work all weekend and into the next week for the big expo show. I made it until Sunday afternoon, and then my voice gave out. True, showing off lingerie means actually holding up bras and Basques for people to look at, but there is a lot more to it, especially when your job involves the press, like mine does. For the media, it’s all about the story- and what I could say was practically inaudible! Basically, my ability to share the important details, the inspiration, the new items and features, the message of what we and our brands want to convey, was gone. My voice was gone. That would be difficult in any situation, but to me, it was so much more than that. With my newly involuntary silence, my input, ideas, and contributions to what was happening around me were gone. For me, that was the worst part. And few things are as frustrating and emotionally crushing as having your voice ignored or taken from you.

What Jo March had found would classify as a voice, but one that is certainly not her own. As writers, especially those in the freelance business, we often have to alter our voices, and our views, to fit that of the publication. And that’s exactly what Jo is doing when the second half of Little Women begins. After one of Jo’s short stories is published, she’s elated, energized, and eager to build upon the foundation she’s built. However, there’s an obstacle threatening to tear down her future of masterpieces. At that time, it was certainly an abnormality for a woman to be a writer, let alone a published one, and there were very specific ideas about what women should write. And there were also very specific ideas of what editors believed women would read. In order for editors to publish of her stories, Jo must make serious alterations to her work, and for new stories, she must seek out themes, characters, and plots that all fit within the desired expectations. There’s a scene from the new Little Women movie where an editor tells Jo that if she has a female protagonist, by the end of the story they should be married or dead. Pretty extreme, right? But those were the industry standards. As far as her short stories are concerned, Jo follows their directions. She begins to read the newspaper for ‘sensational’ occurrences, morbid happenings, and thrilling details so that each proceeding story is more astounding than the previous one. Jo is successful at repeatedly publishing her stories and receiving payment, but her voice and her message is lost amongst the sensational nonsense.

After two years in the fiction writing program at college, I was beginning to lose my resolve. Every day was a fight to stay true to my own voice, every second of class a struggle to adhere to their process. As a result, my writing suffered. Before I had felt that writing was a wonderous form of art, full of imagination, possibilities, and exploration. Now, I felt confused, frustrated, and rejected on a daily basis. Even for someone as confident as I was, it’s a lot to take. I faltered in my assurance in my future as a writer. I knew I couldn’t write like them, but if I couldn’t write like me, the what was I doing? I eventually switched to the film department, and I’m sorry to say, the situation was just as bad, if not worse. In the film department, my stories were questioned not only based on the plot, but on my gender as well. At least the fiction writing department accepted men and women alike as long as they adhered to the departments’ strange standards, but here, men ruled and women were crazy. At one point, I made a short film about a dancer who had a chronic illness but continued to dance and had to figure out how to tell the people in her life about her illness.  My classmates basically laughed in my face, trashing the film based on its unbelievability and unrealistic story and characters. And the teacher let them tear me apart- all because of a story that was completely true, because I had already lived it. Just as Louisa May Alcott stitched details of her personality and life into the pages of Little Women, I based this short film on my own experiences.

I remember being furious and raging to my mother over the phone as I described what had taken place in class that day. “They just don’t like anyone who dares to be different,” she told me. How true that is of all societies, not just artists. Now, that I’ve had some distance, it’s easy to see how blind they were to anything that didn’t fit into their own definition of art.  Now, I can easily call to mind that the Academy of Motion Pictures has awarded Oscars to movies that had elves, dwarves, and magic rings*, and more recently, a woman who fell in love with a fish-man*, and so many more fictional films and musicals. Talk about unrealistic! (Not that Academy Awards are the ultimate mark of a good movie; there are plenty of politics involved, and lots of talented people and wonderful movies aren’t always nominated as they should be, but you get my point.) I should also mention that many of those movies were also based on books, best-selling books that have sold millions of copies, won numerous awards, and have stayed or will stay integral parts of the literary world for generations and generations. As I think on it now, my school would have laughed at the likes of J.R.R Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and J.K. Rowling had they presented their magical works to teachers and peers. But, each of those acclaimed authors eventually found the audience they deserved.

After I graduated school, my writing journey was irregular and unfocused. I knew that I still wanted to write, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about, or even what format to choose. I’d written poems, songs, short stories, and chapter of novels, but nothing seemed to be the perfect fit, and that made me want to write less and less. I worked on the editorial team at FabFitFun for a while, and when I moved to New York, I continued to write for them. And that was about it, until I started the Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge. Some of the books I had read previously, but many were totally new or were ones I had waited to read for years and just never got around to it. And then the idea for the blog was born. What if I wrote about this enormous reading list, this fantastic show, and everything that happens to me along the way? People love books and people love Gilmore Girls, so why not put them together and add in my thoughts, feelings, and experiences? At that point, I barely knew what I was going to write about for each book, in fact, I still don’t know what I’m going to write about each time I pick up a new book from the list, but I knew that this was what I was meant to be doing, this was my writing path transformed, this was the way forward. This would give voice to all the stories I had to tell, all the lessons I had learned, and all the things I am still discovering.

There are days when I feel like I can barely string together a decent sentence, and, thankfully, there are days when writing feels as easy and as good as taking a deep breath and filling your lungs with life-sustaining air. And I know that despite all the rejection I’ve faced and the pestering doubt, this is my destiny. It may take time, and it may never be the next Harry Potter, but the Gilmore Book Club will find its audience, and it will resonate with people because it resonates with me.

Jo March tried to please everyone with her writing, but the more she tried to fit into her world’s definition of a writer, the hollower her work became. But life intervened in her literary plans, just as it does for so many others. (To skip any vague spoilers, skip to the end of this paragraph). Her sisters grow up and get married, and someone she loves dearly dies, leaving Jo devastated and lonely. For a while, Jo abandons her stories, but is convinced to return to her former pastime in hopes that it will revive her spirits. And it does. The final product is even published and receives more acclaim from her family, editors, and audience than anything Jo’s ever written. While Jo is astonished at this occurrence, Marmee knows why this story has proved more valuable than the rest: it has truth.

History shows that society has not always celebrated the truth. Just like my teachers and classmates dismissed the facts of my story in my film, the world has covered up and dismissed the truth- in matters great and small- in all areas from historical events to science and literature to how we treat other human beings. And that’s one of the reasons art is so important. It gives people an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to think about the world the way it is now and the way it could be. When there is truth in art, the audience will find it and connect with it. It’s the reason people devote their lives to celebrating intergalactic space battles and are still waiting for their acceptance letter to schools of witchcraft and wizardry. And it’s the reason that the stories of handmaidens in red robes are so terrifying. No one can guarantee that this deep connection will happen all the time, creating art is always a leap of faith, but trust me, the right audience is out there and they’re open to seeing the truth. They were for Jo, and they will be for me and for you.

For the majority of my writing, I’ve written it for a reason, but nothing, nothing, I have ever written has been characterized by so much truth as the essays that I’ve written while reading titles from the Rory Gilmore Book list. From the wit and heart of the Gilmore Girls, to the incredible works of literature that span generation after generation and reveal insights and experiences from around the world, to the revelations and rumination of my own, each thread that stitches this project together is adorned with beads of truth. It is my sincerest hope to ensure that those threads are embroidered on every piece of fabric that will make up the quilt of my future work.

So find your voice. And whatever you do, whatever art you create, I encourage you to find your truth and put your heart into it, because as Marmee tells Jo, that is the secret to true success.

Rory Reading Recommendations

If you liked this book, and this post, here’s what to read next.

*Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King- 2004

**The Shape of Water- 2018