The Gilmore Book Club

How to stay friends with your bestie when one of you gets married

On the first Saturday in December of 2017, I was preparing to walk down the aisle. I wasn’t getting married, though. It was my best friend Andrea’s wedding. This date had been circled on my calendar and posted on my fridge for over a year. It seemed like yesterday that I was helping to pick out her wedding dress. For months we had been talking about the wedding: discussing small details, shopping for shoes and jewelry, and enjoying the bachelorette party. It had seemed so far away then, but now it was here. I had the immense joy of being her Maid of Honor. I would do anything for Andrea, but this, showing my love for her by being a part of her wedding, was an easy job. I was determined, as her friend and as her Maid of Honor, to do everything I could to make this the perfect day for her. And it was the perfect day.

Andrea’s wedding was absolutely wonderful. She and her husband looked happy and beautiful, and with the white swans gliding behind them in the lake, they looked like they had stepped out of a bridal magazine. I could hardly believe it. She was now a married woman. The newly married couple and all their loved ones spent the evening celebrating and eating and dancing, and I’m so glad I was there for every minute of it.

Andrea and I met during our sophomore year in high school and have been close ever since. We did everything together. We lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same school and had the same classes, worked in the same store, and were in the same plays at local theaters. We knew what the other was thinking with a single look. We could talk about everything and nothing, sing at the top of our lungs, or just sit in an easy silence.

All that changed when we went to different collages. Since then, we have never lived in the same place, and as much as I hate to think it, we probably never will again. We’ve missed so much over the years. It hurts me to think that we’re rarely able to celebrate birthdays and holidays together and are unable to be there to lend help or comfort in times of need. Our circumstances have changed, and we may have changed, but our friendship never has. We’re blessed because it’s such a rare gift, to be able to retain a friendship despite the distance and the time spent apart. No matter how much time has passed, no matter where we were, no matter what was happening, I knew that she was still mine. My best friend, my rock, my person.

It’s a bit surreal, to stand beside your best friend as they pledge their life to someone else. Surreal, but wonderful. The night of the wedding I went to bed feeling tired and incredibly happy. So happy to be with Andrea, to see her start this new phase of her life, to be a part of their love story. All that wedding prep and celebration keeps you busy, and my mind had been too busy to think about what was actually happening. Too busy to wonder- is everything about to change?

Continue to Part 2

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